Update and coping with cancer

It’s been a while since I last posted on this topic and I know some of you are more comfortable reading this than asking how I’m doing.

In a nutshell, I’m improving. My last test a couple of weeks ago was the first time my PSA levels have come down, although not as low as we need them to be. In 10 weeks I’ll have another test and we’ll hopefully see that it is trending down, which will mean tests every 3 months and I’ll be on the mend.

In the meantime I still suffer from fatigue 24:7 but not as bad as it was and when I’m busy and focused on doing things, I don’t notice it. But that also means that it is really easy to overdo it and if I have a really busy day at work, or even just at home, I pay for it.

I now have some nights when I don’t fall asleep at 7:30 or earlier, but it is still more common than not that my wife wakes me up somewhere between 8 and 9 to tell me to go to bed and off I trot, feeling ripped off both because I’m missing out on my time and our time and I feel bad about leaving her on her own each evening, while I trot off to sleep. It’s also frustrating that you feel tired all day whether you had 5 hours sleep or 12 hours sleep.

Anyway, what I’m focusing on is looking forward to things and trying to live in the moment. We have spent much of our lives looking to pay off our mortgage and reducing debt, rather than living life for today. Cancer makes you want to make sure you have taken care of your loved ones financially, but it also makes the bucket list more important. One of the things on my bucket list that I was confident I would never have is the new toy we bought.

I have always loved Corvettes and now I have one and I love it. Hopefully my wife and I will have fun doing road trips and make lots of new memories. Living in the now isn’t easy and it is important to be financially secure if you can. It is also important to have fun and enjoy life, which isn’t easy when sometimes life feels like crap. It doesn’t have to be a cool car, it can be just looking forward to going out for lunch or catching up with a friend you haven’t seen for a while. It is important to have a focus that takes your mind off the fact that you have cancer. Doing things that make you happy creates good chemical reactions in your body and if you are creating endorphin’s that has to help your immune system.

I want to share a poem with you that reflects a bit of the feeling I had about living. It was written by Alistair Morrison and I hope I’m not breaking any copyright laws by sharing it.

Such a Good Boy

He never said ‘Die’ to the living

He never said ‘Scat’ to a cat.

He never said ‘Boo to a Kangaroo.

He never did this or that.

He always kept clear of propellers

Never spoke to the man at the wheel

He always said ‘thanks’ to people in banks

And always took food with his meal.

He never took umbrage, or opium

Or ran round the rugged rocks

He never missed school, or acted the fool

And always wore woolen socks.

He never sat on a tuffet

Or pulled out a plumb with his thumb

And never in churches left ladies in lurches

Or opened the OP rum.

He never pinched little girls bottoms

Or peered down te front of their necks

Considered it folly to covet a dolly

Or think of the opposite sex.

He never did anything nasty

He never got stinking or cried

Unmarred by one speckle, a permanent Jeckyll

With never a shadow of Hyde.

He never called anyone ‘Drongo’

Or even ate peas with a knife.

He never crossed swords with the overlords

Such a good boy all o his life.

When he finally died and was buried

His loving ones tried to mourn

They put at his head a tablet which read

“Here he lies, but why was he born”.

 

 

Advertisement

The Internet as a battlefield

I’ve been trying to work on this post for ages, but never seem to get it finished. The more I think about it, the more tangents I head in, so here’s a start anyway. Maybe you can add a comment to the thread.

When we, Joe Citizen think of warfare, the common picture is either soldiers, tanks and planes, or more recently terrorist attacks. Information warfare is not a topic that we think of very often.

Of course using media such as radio, print and TV have been used for decades to provide disinformation, but now that we have the Internet, there is potential for a new front that could cripple economies and cause massive disruption to life as we know it.

Last month 14 Virgin Blue flights were cancelled in Melbourne when a broken cable disrupted their computer systems, stranding thousands of passengers. A total of 48 domestic flights were cancelled as a follow on of this problem.

Periodically there are major EFTPOS failures, which can happen at the worst possible times. For example in 2005 the EFTPOS network in New Zealand broke down for 2 hours on 23rd December. The estimate was that around half a million transactions were lost on one of the busiest days for retailers in the year. Millions of dollars in transactions were lost because people don’t really carry cash any more.

In November last year Brazil and some of Venezuela lost their power. Nine of Brazil’s states were out of power, representing millions of people. Whilst many complained they couldn’t watch their favorite soap opera, traffic lights were not working, trains weren’t running and parts of the country pretty much ground to a halt.

If a country or a terrorist organisation wanted to cause chaos or in some way to a country or city in the modern world, it would be incredibly easy. In Holland a guy called Max Cornelisse has created chaos and recorded it on YouTube to show how easy it is to disrupt services we take for granted. Amongst other things he has meddled with electronic signs on freeways, opened and closed bridges over canals from his PDA, sent people running from one platform to another by controlling automated PA messages at railway stations and in this YouTube Video he controlled the autoprompter at a Dutch TV station causing confusion to the newsreaders on live TV. Unfortunately it is in Dutch, but you’ll get the idea.

This is just a guy having a little fun, but what could you do if you seriously wanted to disrupt a country or city. What chaos would you create simply by shutting down the Internet. How would your business function without the Internet? How would your community function without the Internet? Imagine no email, no Voice over IP, no web browsing, no IM, no Facebook or Twitter? No online share trading. No banking, no EFTPOS, no ATM’s and who carries cash?

That’s just for starters. I wonder how long it would take for a major city, like New York, London or Amsterdam to fall into chaos? What would happen after a day, a week, even longer?

Last week there was a story on NPR about cyber terrorism. It quoted USA Director of National Intelligence, Dennis Blaire saying that “Every single day, Blair said, sensitive information is “stolen from both government and private sector networks” as criminals become increasingly more sophisticated.”

Interestingly on 16 February 2010 an event will take place in a simulated Whitehouse Situation Room which is scripted to emulate a cyber terrorist attack. Those taking part will include former Director of National Intelligence John Negroponter and former Homeland Security Advisor Fran Townsend, who will have to work out how to deal with it as it plays out.

This has happened shortly “after the House overwhelmingly passed The Cybersecurity Enhancement Act. Something that gives the Obama administration the power to switch off the Internet,” according to Techeye. For more on the Act, check here.

Just as a final thought for now. If you know how to defend against an attack, you also know how to initiate one. I’m not for a moment suggesting any Western power would do that, but given the right circumstances…….

I am very happy to be living in New Zealand in that respect. Although we have allowed ourselves to become very dependant on our friends and allies, not even able to fully feed ourselves if we bacame isolated.